


A Different Kind of Stupid

by flosculatory, IAmANonnieMouse



Series: A New Kind of Stupid [2]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, Gen, Hamilton AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 11:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7800655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flosculatory/pseuds/flosculatory, https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miscellaneous ficlets in the <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/7644037/chapters/17402545">A New Kind of Stupid</a> universe that didn't quite fit into the actual fic itself and were thus relegated to this little corner.</p><p>Chapter 1: Sticking to the status quo, and our favourite crack ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Different Kind of Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mal rolled her eyes. “Okay, _fine_. If you _must_ know, Saito, that,” she said, gesturing sharply at the blonde, “is Sharpay Evans.”
> 
> “This is not what I wanted,” Sharpay started, “this is not what I planned!”
> 
> “Is she having some sort of break from reality?” Nash murmured.

Arthur looked around the lunch table, where his fellow _Hamilton_ cast members were chattering away companionably. They were all there, except for Maurice and Peter (who were probably off mugging some freshmen for their lunch money) and Phillipa and James (who were probably the freshmen getting mugged). The cast had become fixtures in his corner of the lunchroom, and he was starting to enjoy their company.

That was probably a bad sign.

All of a sudden, a blonde sitting at the centre of the lunchroom climbed onto her table and yelled for quiet.

“What the hell is she doing?” Arthur asked.

“Who _is_ that?” Saito asked in return.

“I don’t know, but I heard she was named after a dog. Shih Tzu, maybe,” Mal said airily, while examining her nails.

She looked up to see the table giving her weird looks, and she rolled her eyes. “Okay, _fine_. If you _must_ know, Saito, that,” she said, gesturing sharply at the blonde, “is Sharpay Evans.”

“This is not what I wanted,” Sharpay started, “this is not what I planned!”

“Is she having some sort of break from reality?” Nash murmured.

“And I just got to say,” Sharpay continued, “I do not understand!”

“I mean, at least she’s rhyming,” Yusuf said, shrugging, “maybe impromptu poetry performances are currently in fashion?”

“Something is really, really wrong, and we gotta get things back where they belong,” Sharpay declared.

There was a pause and Dom whispered, “Do we applaud?”

“You!” Sharpay yelled, pointing straight at their table. 

They looked back, confused (except for Mal, who was busy shooting death glares at Sharpay). 

“What are you guys even doing? You’re ruining everything! You don’t _belong_ at the same table! Especially you three,” Sharpay said, pointing at Yusuf, Robert and Saito, who had started tuning Sharpay out to start swapping some of their lunch items. “Just because you’re cast as three sisters in the school musical, you guys are close all of a sudden? Give me a break. You,” she said, pointing at Saito, “should be with the other exchange students, Curly Hair should be with the chemistry nerds, and Robert…” Her face transformed into a smile that was probably meant to be seductive, but mostly looked terrifying. “Well, you should be with me!” She let out a peal of fake laughter. “I mean, at my table, of course, don’t be silly! But seriously, we should go out.”

Saito raised an eyebrow at Robert, but Robert just shrugged.

“So stick to the stuff you know! It is better by far to keep things as they are, don’t mess with the _flow_.” Sharpay undulated her arm, as if to mime a wave in the ocean. “Stick to the status quo, people!” she concluded, climbing back down to her seat.

There was a moment of stunned silence around the cafeteria, and then the room started buzzing about Sharpay’s ‘performance’.

“I heard she auditioned for _Hamilton_ but Miles turned her down because even he admitted she couldn’t sing a note,” Eames said conspiratorially.

“Are you serious?” Yusuf asked.

“I mean, considering Miles got so desperate, he casted scrawny freshmen,” Arthur started, before turning an apologetic eye towards Dom. “Sorry, Dom.”

Dom waved the apology away, continuing Arthur’s thought. “Yeah, Sharpay must have been completely awful if even _Miles_ wouldn’t cast her.”

Ariadne piped up. “Guys, come on, I’m sure she can’t be all _that_ bad.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to bang her, Ari!” Nash called back.

Yusuf choked on his food and turned to face Ariadne. “Are you–” Yusuf croaked, before pausing to cough as Dom thumped him on the back. “Are you attracted to her?”

Ariadne gave him a strange look and opened her mouth to answer, but then Mal cut in. “Of course she isn’t, our Ariadne has taste, she wouldn’t be _interested_ in some power-hungry spoiled princess who thinks she can get her way by throwing money around!” Mal’s voice rose steadily in pitch, and the whole table paused to stare at her.

Saito looked questioningly at Yusuf, who whispered back, “Mal and Sharpay had this _huge_ fight freshman year. No one really knows what it was about, but I heard it was _epic_.”

Eames cleared his throat, and joked, “Sounds like we should set her up with your brother, Robert.”

Robert lifted an eyebrow. “That would be difficult,” he said slowly, “considering he and Peter, for all their obnoxious faults, are a pretty solid couple.”

There was silence at the table as everyone turned their heads to gape at Robert.

“Maurice? And _Peter_?” Ariadne squeaked.

“Uh, yes?” Robert answered.

There were more blank, unbelieving looks from around the table.

“How did you guys not know about this?” Robert continued, incredulous at their incredulity. “They’re basically all over each other. Peter spends more time whispering into my brother’s ear than speaking to his own parents, really.”

Dom spoke up. “I always figured they just had a supervillain-evil henchman thing going on.”

“Or like Washington and his right hand man!” Ariadne added.

Eames snorted. “I guess Peter took his role of ‘right hand man’ _very_ seriously,” he drawled, making a suggestive motion with his right hand.

The table burst into laughs and groans and a high-five from Nash. Arthur rolled his eyes and tried not to look amused.

Above the din, Robert called, “Guys, I know I brought this up, but could we _please_ not speculate on my brother’s sex life? I think my lunch is starting to come back up.”

There was a chorus of “Sorry, Robert” from around the table.

Robert nodded, and there was a beat of silence as everyone thought about this bombshell and how they could have possibly missed it. After a minute, Robert’s face twisted slowly into a smirk. “Besides,” he added, looking down at his food, “Peter’s left-handed.”


End file.
